


He Deserves Better: A Very Gay Shopping Trip

by can_i_slytherin



Series: He Deserves Better [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crossdressing, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-25 19:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18170594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/can_i_slytherin/pseuds/can_i_slytherin
Summary: Basically, Allison, Vanya, Klaus and Diego go shopping.





	He Deserves Better: A Very Gay Shopping Trip

**Author's Note:**

> After a rather interesting discussion with Bunny, we came up with the idea for this fic. So, this is entirely dedicated to her.

"We're going shopping!" Klaus announced as he waltzed into the living room with a bundle of coats tucked under his arm.

Allison and Vanya were curled up together on one couch whilst Diego was leant against the bar at the far end of the room, sharpening one of his knives. Upon his entrance and announcement, two of the three adults turned to the séance and stared at him as if he had grown a second head. Vanya, however, beamed at him, her happiness radiating from her in beautiful waves and lit up the whole room

He threw a bluish-green leather coat at Allison; dropped a dark blue, almost black, denim shirt into Vanya's lap; and frowned at Diego upon the realisation that the knife-slinger didn't own a coat. Klaus shook his head, vowing silently to himself that he would buy Diego a coat at the mall and he had already decided that it would be something leather and tight-fitting and so perfectly  _Diego_ that Number Two would have no choice but to wear it. Klaus smiled evilly and slipped on his long, fur-rimmed coat, getting ready to leave. He was going shopping, without a doubt, but whether his beloved not-siblings joined him was another thing entirely. 

"We haven't been shopping in a while!" She babbled and jumped to her feet as she excitedly tugged on her coat, "What's the special occasion?" 

"No special occasion, just want to spend some time with my favourite people- excluding Ben because he's off god knows where doing who knows what." Klaus replied, a gentle smile graced his lips and he locked eyes with Diego from across the room, silently pleading Number Two to come with him. Diego sighed and Klaus knew immediately that he had won over the knife-slinger; as much as Diego refused to admit it, he had a not-so-small soft spot for Klaus. 

"Sure," Allison answered, after a momens of careful consideration, "it'll be nice to get out of this damn house." 

Vanya and Klaus cheered and high-fived, feeling proud that they had succeeded in convincing their respective partners to join their shopping spree. 

Klaus held his arm out for Vanya, "Shall we, Miss Vanya?" Klaus questioned, a fake British accent lacing his voice. 

"We shall, Master Klaus." Vanya replied with an equally fake accent and linked her arm through Klaus'.

They dissolved into a fit of giggles and skipped out of the room. Allison and Diego shared an eye-roll, but the fond smiles that graced their lips suggested that they were not as exasperated as they seemed. 

"Why do we deal with them?" Diego questioned as he fell into step beside Allison. 

"Because we love them?" Allison suggested, a gentle laugh falling from her lips. 

"Yeah, something like that." Diego responded and his gaze fell on Klaus- a loving, almost-proud look settled in his dark eyes. 

Allison gasped and held a hand against her chest in mock-surprise, " _The_ Diego Hargreeves, admitting to having feelings?! Well, I never!" 

Diego rolled his eyes and playfully shoved Allison, "Yeah, okay. But, don't tell anyone." 

Allison pulled an imaginary zip across her lips, "Your secret is safe with me." 

They had finally joined their not-siblings at the front door; Klaus was leant against the wall, talking animatedly with his hands whilst Vanya was quieter, nodding in agreement. 

"You ready?" Diego questioned; he wrapped his arm around Klaus' waist and pulled the séance closer to him as they stepped out of the front door.

Vanya and Allison linked hands and followed the two men out of the house. They fell into step beside one another and began to discuss what shops they wanted to visit and what they would buy along the way. The walk to the shopping mall was quite far, but the Hargreeves bunch didn't mind that much as it meant that they got to spend extra time with each other- time that they wouldn't normally have to spare, what with their busy schedules, and so they treasured every moment that they shared with each other. 

Klaus turned his head and unabashedly stared at Diego. Klaus couldn't remember the last time that he had loved someone as fiercely as loved Diego and he was almost certain that there had never been anyone: even his feelings for Dave couldn't amount to the pure, unyielding love that he had for Number Two. Some people would say that Klaus' infatuation with Diego came from their years of living in the same house and Klaus... well, he'd have to agree. There was only so much that one could cope without and Klaus, he couldn't cope without comfort. He loved the feel of someone's arms around him or the feel of someone's lips against his cheek. He adored the press of someone's body against his own- the heat, the hardness and the feeling of security that came with it. Diego... Well, Diego was always there to provide him with the things that he needed- both as a child and as an adult. So, yes, Klaus would admit that his feelings for Diego must stem from the amount of time that they spent together as young ones. 

Diego caught Klaus, from the corner of his eye, staring and he turned his head, catching his brother's gaze, "You okay?" 

The pure, undisguised look of concern that settled in Diego's eyes made Klaus' heart soar sky-high, "You're here." Klaus whispered and gently squeezed the hand that was resting on his hip, "So, of course I am." 

Diego grinned and pulled Klaus to a stop, pressing a gentle kiss against his lips, "I love you." Diego whispered as he pulled away. 

Klaus chased his lips and groaned unhappily when Diego smirked and pushed him away. Allison and Vanya, who had stopped to wait for them to finish their impromptu kiss, cooed happily and wore twinned grins of happiness- both of them feeling immensely proud of the relationship that their brothers had, despite the insistence from Reginald that it was not a healthy one. They had defied all odds- the almost-apocalypse, Klaus' sobriety and so much more- and had come out even stronger than before. Allison hoped, with every fibre of her being, that she and Vanya's relationship would one day be as strong as the connection that Diego and Klaus shared. 

"Sorry. I know there's a time and a place." Diego whispered shyly and averted his gaze from his two not-quite siblings, taking a sudden interest in his shoes. Klaus frowned and slipped his hand into Diego's, giving it a gentle squeeze as he linked their fingers together. Diego smiled down at their hands and found the strength, with Klaus stood next to him, to look back up at the two Hargreeves women. 

"Diego," Vanya began, "you and Klaus deserve to be happy, and to show your affection for one another openly without judgement. When you're with us, never apologise for showing your affection for Klaus; if you want to kiss him, then kiss him and if you want to hug him then do that too, if you want to hold his hand then we are not going to stop you. This is a place for freedom, where we can just be ourselves and enjoy each others company, and you'd do well to remember that." 

Diego stood, for a moment, jaw hanging open in shock before Klaus elbowed him in the side and he managed to stutter pout a small, "Thank you, Vanya." 

"Okay, good. Yippee. The words of support have been spoken and a thank you have been received. Can we pleeeease go now?!" Klaus rambled, bouncing on the balls of his feet and tugging impatiently on Diego's hand. 

They all nodded and restarted their walk- much to Klaus' enjoyment. It didn't take them much longer to reach the mall- about 20 minutes- and Klaus' eyes grew wide at the amount of new shops that he would most definitely have to investigate. Klaus radiated excitement and the grin that he wore was infectious. Soon enough, Klaus had pulled Diego towards a shop, Vanya and Allison trailing close behind, and was scanning the shop- his gaze immediately finding the large-lettered sign that said:  _women._ He darted towards that section, frowning when he found an arm wrapped around his waist that stopped him from going anywhere too quickly. Vanya, who had made a run for the men's section, found the same thing happening to her but instead of Diego holding her back, it was Allison.

"Klaus," Diego whispered in his ear, rubbing gentle circles into his stomach and pressing flush against his back, "slow down. We've got the time to do, and see, everything. Just take a breath and relax, there's no need to rush." 

Klaus took a deep breath in through his nose and willed himself to calm down. Only when he had slumped against Diego's chest, heartbeat calm and feeling less erratic, did the knife-slinger let him go. Klaus tipped his head back and looked up at Diego with loving eyes, a fond smile painted on his lips. 

"So, what are we looking for first?" Allison asked, having convinced Vanya to look at some clothes that didn't come from the men's department. 

"Well, our favourite knife-slinger," Klaus announced, earning him a confused look from the man in question, "needs a coat. Because he doesn't have one. Mr. I don't get cold." 

"I don't!" Diego yelled indignantly, gently slapping Klaus' thigh for his teasing. 

"You probably think that it's because you're too hot. In all your leather and tight-fitting clothes and... ugh." Klaus shivered and went a little glassy eyed, his mind disappearing into that darkened corner that he only visited when alone. 

Diego leant up to Klaus' ear and lowered his voice an octave or two, "Down boy."

Klaus shivered again but pulled himself from his thoughts, "Okay," Klaus sounded breathless, "I'm back."

Allison and Vanya stared at the two, amazed at how easily they flirted with each other and felt slightly envious that they were both skilled in the fine art of sexual relationships (especially with those of the same gender). though they would never admit it to each other, they hoped that they'd be able to reach that point with each other in the future. 

Diego, this time in the lead, pulled Klaus through the isles, pointing out things that he thought Klaus would look good in (a pair of skin-tight, black jeans, an overly loud floral shirt... the list goes on) whilst Klaus pointed out anything that was made from leather and unnecessarily teased Diego for his infatuation with the material. Though, he had caved and allowed Klaus to pick out a soft, black leather jacket with a million pockets and enough space to accommodate his knives and he had absolutely fallen in love with it. It was comfortable and warm and so amazingly  _him_ that he had no choice but to allow Klaus to buy it for him. If Klaus grinned triumphantly and secretly self-fived, happy that he had fulfilled his promise to himself, then Diego didn't need to know. He deposited the coat into their basket and grinned at Vanya as she added a floral shirt (for Klaus), a plain, white shirt (for herself), a dark, blood-red shirt (for Diego) and a turquoise shirt (for Allison) to their mix. Klaus clapped, very reminiscent of a seal, and skipped through the isles once more with one destination in mind- the shelves of skirts in the women's section. 

He looked over his shoulder at Diego, almost asking his brother-turned-lover for permission, and shrieked happily when Number Two nodded. Diego chased Klaus through the racks, a wide grin on his face as Klaus giggled gleefully, and Vanya and Allison followed closely behind. They felt like children again, being chased by Pogo through the halls of the Academy whilst their  _father_ was locked away in his study doing one thing or another, and it felt _amazing._ Waltzing through the women's section, Allison had managed to convince Vanya to buy a t-shirt with a rainbow stitched over the heart and also try on a knee-length grey skirt with black swirls- she looked good in both and they were extremely comfortable; all three adults had yelled triumphantly when Vanya had placed both items in the basket, a light blush coating her ears and neck.  

From the corner of his eye, Klaus noticed a black, leather skirt and his mind conjured up the dirtiest images possible. The skirt was short, Klaus would've guessed mid-thigh length, and it looked soft and thin- not to stiff but not too flow-y either. Klaus searched for Diego's size- a 14-16, he guessed- and snatched the skirt from the railing. He thrust the basket into Allison's hands and grabbed Diego's hand, pulling him over to the fitting rooms and leaving the two confused women behind. 

He led Diego down a long corridor, thankful that there hadn't been a sales clerk at the entrance, and pushed Diego into one of the cubicles, closing and locking the door behind them. 

"Try this on." Klaus whispeed and reached down to adjust himself. 

Diego looked at the item for a moment, debating whether or not to listen to Number Four, but, upon seeing the darkened look in the séance's eyes, decided that he would wear it. 

Diego unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off with the grace of a new-born giraffe. He took the skirt off its hanger and undid the zip at the rear of the fabric, pulling it up and over his legs. He zipped it up and adjusted it into a slightly more comfortable position. Klaus' eyes were dark and hungry as he looked Diego over.  

"You look good." Klaus murmured and dropped to his knees in front of Diego. 

***~*~*~*~**

When Klaus and Diego returned, a full half an hour later, with messy hair and chests heaving, neither Allison or Vanya questioned it; they simply rolled their eyes and shook their heads- fully aware of what had happened during those thirty minutes. 

"Better?" Allison teased, arching a delicate eyebrow as Diego wordlessly dropped a leather skirt into the basket.

Diego turned his head, throwing Klaus a happy, love-filled grin, as he slipped his hand into Klaus' and interlocked their fingers, "Much."

Vanya motioned towards the now-full basket and then towards the checkouts, "Can we get this stuff paid for? There are a few other places that I want to go to before we go home." 

Klaus grinned and nodded quickly. He dug through the basket, searching for the jacket that he had picked out for Diego earlier, and tucked it under his arm upon finding it. Diego looked as if he was going to object, but Klaus threw him a silencing look, "Shut the fuck up, Di. I'm buying the damn jacket." 

Diego held his hands up in defence and fondly shook his head as Klaus skipped away, giggling to himself as he did. Klaus approached the counter, wallet in hand, and passed the coat to the cashier making short conversation with her as she scanned the barcode. Klaus grinned at the woman and handed her the money without really thinking about how much it had cost. He had a lot more money now that he was sober and needed to find something, that wasn't drugs, to spend it on; if that meant buying Diego nice leather jackets, then so be it. Klaus took the bag from her, a grateful smile spread across his lips, and sauntered over to his not-siblings who were still paying for their items. The séance came up behind Diego and wrapped his arms around his waist resting his chin on Number Two's shoulder. Diego grinned and leant back into the embrace. 

"Ready to go?" Allison questioned as she split the four shopping bags between them. 

Klaus bounced excitedly and nodded eagerly, linking his arm through Vanya's. He smiled warmly at Allison as she interlocked her fingers with Vanya's and together, without a car in the world, they skipped from the shop and entered a new one- giggling like school girls and clutching onto each other as they caught their breath. 

***~*~*~*~**

Their day out ended spectacularly and they had probably spent more money than was strictly necessary, but it wasn't often that they got to treat themselves- thus they went all out when they had the chance to do so. When they returned to the mansion, they had more bags than they could count and wore grins so wide that their faces hurt, retelling stories of events that had happened throughout the day. 

"That was fun." Allison announced, slightly breathless from the amount that she had been laughing and leant against Vanya for support. 

"It was," Diego began, gently squeezing Klaus' hand and sharing a knowing look with him, "we should do it again sometime." 

"We should!" Vanya and Klaus yelled, nodding eagerly. 

Allison reached a hand out, palm facing the floor, and looked around at her siblings, "We need to vow that, every month, we will dedicate one day to going shopping with each other." 

Vanya placed her hand atop Allison's and nodded in agreement; Klaus smiled and rested his hand on Vanya's; Diego eagerly followed and discovered that, despite his previous apprehension, he had actually quite enjoyed himself that day. And so, on every third Saturday of the month, the four siblings would go shopping and, for that one day a month, would feel like normal adults; all four of them could testify that it felt amazing and would continue to do so. 


End file.
